Saturday, May 16, 2009

Haitian Funky Mouth Disease (HFMD)

It's a cruel world when a lollipop can carry the Haitian Funky Mouth Disease. What was supposed to be an act of bonding between me and the boys turned into a week of misery. You may ask, "What is Haitian Funky Mouth Disease"? It is essentially a mouth infection that causes your gums to swell and become tender (like right after the dentist's 'hook'), and multiple canker sores on your gums and tongue. Apparently, it is rare in adults, and lasts 7 to 10 days.

I have learned many lessons through all of this, here are a few:

-New Rule: One lollipop, one mouth.

-A moment of bonding can lead to a week of pain.

-Nothing is innocent.

-Listen to your mother.

-Only eating things that you don't chew will help you lose 15 pounds in one week (is that what a liquid diet is supposed to be?).

-Taking vitamin C and Zinc gives you bad B.O. that smells like Parmesian Goldfish.

-HFMD is bad for intimacy with your wife.

-Even with all of our doctors and medicines, some things just have to run thier course.

I'm now on day 8, my mouth is starting to feel better, and I am hoping that it will stay on this course without any lingering effects.


Elizabeth said...

How ironic that you even have a picture of it! I am a big baby over just one canker sore, so you have my sympathy. I hope you have a swift recovery.

rud said...

oi, dude, that sounds really rough. i thank you for learning these lessons and sharing them with me so i can hopefully avoid anything remotely like HFMD

God's Plumbline Ministries said...

Tim, I am not laughing....really!!

Anonymous said...

If it's any consolation at all, you've always smelled a little like Parmesian Goldfish... :) Feel better soon!

Mom P said...

Love the rules!!...of course! If you're not cured by Monday, the antibiotics aren't'll have to go to the celery, dill, etc. drink...or go back to the doctor~~~~! Hope it's gone!

Tyler Stanton said...

I just wanted to say thanks for the comment on my post the other day on SCL. It's great having readers add to the conversation. Just know that my blog is a safe place to air your grievances about life's more trivial matters. Keep them coming!

By the way, the Blister is a great call. I'll be honest...I've been that guy a few times too many.